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Hearts and Minds Nourished by Nature

Dr Kim Brown, Founder Director of Nature Therapy CIC

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Energy Vampires

12/9/2016

11 Comments

 
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Energy Vampires

As a follow on to my blog on the experience of living off grid up a mountain for three months, I want to share some of the things learned about senses on my return to a more concrete and busy existence.

The first impression was one of feeling totally overwhelmed by people and lack of space.  I live in a beautiful rural area in the UK but not as rural and remote as in Portugal. However I found I was unable to go into the small main town for some weeks without feeling crushed. Goodness only knows how it would have been if I had to return to a city.

Town visits were out of the question for some weeks. I did try on several occasions but found myself going right out of my way to avoid it - the main reason being queues.  Often I find the person behind me in a queue generally likes to invade my body space to the point they will even touch me. Now don’t get me wrong, I quite like being touched in the right circumstances, but I find the total stranger who likes to be that close enough to make physical contact is the individual who is often an energy vampire.

Energy vampires are the very people from whom I pick up negativity and absorb it as my own. Even though I have learned over the years some effective ways to protect myself, that type of unwanted contact can still leave me feeling low and exhausted. As if my very essence has gone down the plug hole, swirling and gushing into the sewer, never to return.  

Not all energy vampires consciously feed off others and they are not all doing it with malicious intentions.  Often they are just lost souls who find it hard to connect and relate to others and their only known method of getting their own needs met is to suck you into their whirlpool.  This can be through close contact subconsciously absorbing what they need from you -  or through talking at you. Once you start to empathize you are feeding their deeper needs but not in a way that is ultimately healthy for them – or you.
 
In the mountains there was no unwanted touching, other than by biting flies and mosquitoes and which I admit I find preferable to energy vampires. What I was surrounded by on that mountain side was my own.  I didn’t have to spend time sorting through buckets of assorted bits and pieces  to see what was mine and what was some one else’s I had accidentally bought home and really didn’t want to feed and keep. The trouble being once you have taken it - you can’t give it back with an ‘oops I think this is yours’. There isn’t even a dump to take it to. Instead you are left holding it or even worse you chuck it at some other poor unsuspecting passing soul.

In the Wolf Medicine programme I work alongside other Highly Sensitive People. So, I try to teach them about energy fields, what they themselves put out, how to protect themselves, and when to use their own unique sensitivity to help others. As this work progresses I am becoming more and more mindful that addiction and some mental illness is very much aligned to sensitivity.  There is a growing body of research starting to confirm this.

I realise this blog might make me sound like a miserable old grouch but to be an effective therapist and teacher - you need self-awareness, honesty and strategies to avoid compassion fatigue.  It has taken me some years to realise what works for me and what doesn’t. We are all different in how we sense and experience the world and my role now is much more about helping others protect themselves - especially as they move into caring roles.

The next blog will explore the impact of immersing yourself in nature on another of our senses – that of smell.

11 Comments
Mark Langford
12/9/2016 03:09:45 pm

I feel them on a daily basis some times I can handle them some times I have to run to the hill. I myself like human contact I like to help people and offer advice or just be there to listen, however doing this when you feel vulnerable or tiered or you are just having a bad day can lead to some one putting all the necitive energy on to you. I find always beiong self aware and mindful of myself and be aware of the other person's attentions can help. What I have loved about the wolf medicine course is that it has helped me understand how far someone's energy can actually reach us and it has helped me to learn to close down my energy field so I can protect myself from the many energy vampires out there. It has also teached me how I can use my energy field to reach people and help them. I am ever so greatfull to the wolf medicine course and the work you do kim thank you.

Reply
Kim
13/9/2016 04:15:31 pm

Thanks for your feedback about the Wolf Medicine course - the research we are doing as part of this is starting to build understanding of what being a highly sensitive person means and what strategies can be put in place to help the 20 per cent of the population that have this way of being. 🤗

Reply
andy paul
14/9/2016 06:53:13 am

I am getting this from ex i think.ifeel her reach out now and then and as soon as she has my attention she smashes me.Then whole process starts again.feel she is taking enough energy to stop me from giving it to someone els.blimey what started as question turned into answer.thank you for that.it has synchronised part of me that knew what to do all along.like real vampire she can only come in when invited,so not same as yours but still massive relevance to me.thanx x

jo risbridger
12/9/2016 04:36:15 pm

Hi Kim, your blog resonated with me so much. I returned from Portugal over a month ago. It took me a week or so to tell anyone I had returned, and longer still to face the local town! I find the place is much changed after a year away, and so am I. I am aware I had become far more content with myself in Portugal and I am now divesting myself of all negative attatchments from the past. Its hard but necessary in order to maintain inner peace! UK seems so RUSHFULL, a word we invented in Portugal when observing Brits! I am staying steady in my nest, and fixing it, lovingly, mindfully but ever aware I can be sucked into chaos if I am not wary.
Amazingly, for these reasons, I am loving being home, where I can once again communicate with others, having learnt how to do so with myself in exile.

Reply
Kim
13/9/2016 04:18:12 pm

Thanks for your comments Jo and nice to hear from you and to hear you had a similar experience when returning from a remote area. Really like the word rushfull as that certainly sums up modern day life - stay mindful 😀

Reply
Luke
14/9/2016 12:20:45 am

Negative people seem to be in there abundance on the I.o.W. It affects everyone that lives here! There are also many positive people but the negative's can be overwhelming. I see the polar opposite when I go to meetings with my work colleagues on the mainland. I work in conservation and the positive energy I see in my colleagues is an inspiration. Going to town with a purpose and realizing we only have so many years in our lives and with so much to do in such short space of time, helps :) It helps partially shut one off to the negatives, but I still see the negativity. It's hard to be strong sometimes :)

Reply
Kim
22/9/2016 09:22:38 am

That's really interesting Luke - I have also noticed a difference in the work world between the island and the mainland and often wondered what was behind that. I came to the conclusion its lack a of ability to progress because employment is so limited which in turn stifles creativity and vision. I thought it was just the field I worked in but sounds like it is more generalised.

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Tina
19/9/2016 09:56:18 pm

Interesting article Kim, I'm working through my own process of understanding energy and energy vampires and I have two things I'd like to share. My ex-husband is an energy vampire and narcissist and towards the end of our marriage I suddenly realised that he plugged into my solar plexus and was draining my life force from me. Once I realised this I started to make sure I disconnected it and put up a good protection, especially at night. The amazing thing is that he'd be lying beside me snoring when I started the process and without fail he would start to thrash around, grind his teeth and start muttering in his sleep whilst I disconnected his energetic attachment from me. Oddly our marriage didn't last long after that thank goodness and whilst writing this I've just realised that he was still hanging on to some of my energy eleven years after I left. (I've just reclaimed that!) My second thought is about where you say that it's difficult to dispose of this unwanted toxic energy as it's difficult to know where to send it. When people dump their energetic crap on me I visualise putting it in a beautiful envelope and sending it back to them saying 'return to sender with love and consciousness attached ' so that they can learn the lesson they're supposed to from this incarnation and the energy that they're sending out. It seems to work really well for me and I hope that some of your group may find it helpful too.

Reply
Kim
22/9/2016 09:24:34 am

Thanks for the comment Tina and I love the idea of putting negative energy in an envelope and sending it back with that comment. Think we could add that into the forthcoming Highly Sensitive People Guide to Survival workshop we will be running if that's ok with you.

Reply
Tina
22/9/2016 06:06:22 pm

I'd be happy for you to share this Kim, I'd appreciate it if you give me credit for it just once and then you have my blessing to use it as you see fit. If it helps other sensitive people and also the energy vampires to grow in consciousness then that's what's important.:-)

Kim
22/9/2016 09:22:21 pm

More than happy to credit your contribution Tina - when you say 'just once' how would you like that credit made? Kind regards

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